God, Here is My Child

When I was little, I didn’t think it would be particularly hard to be a parent. Seemed to me that we kids did most of the work – following directions, obeying (most of the time), helping with farm and household chores. I had no clue.

It’s especially hard to be a parent when one of your kids is going through tough times, and even harder when the kid is not a kid anymore. There are boundaries as to what you can advise, how much you can question, if you should question at all.

And then there’s always guilt – what did I do to not prepare this child for the trials and pitfalls of life, what did I not instill in him to create the ability to make good choices, what did I not teach him that would have made life less problematic for this child?

And a parent’s heart – oh my, how it hurts a parent’s heart to see that child suffer, to see that child struggle, to watch this mature child rebel and resist authority, to have this child strike out at a parent’s caring heart with venom and hurtfulness. Parenting must be the most conflicting occupation in the universe – there is such tremendous pride and caring and warmth, juxtaposed with hurt, bewilderment and worry.

I turn this child over to God – then take him back. Turn him over to God – then take him back. It’s so difficult to turn your child over to someone else to take care of, because that child has been your life’s work since he was born. But God tells me I cannot correct this situation – only He can. So once again, I give this child of mine over to Him; I hand this child over from my arms to the Lord’s arms asking only that this man-child know God’s love for him, my love for him, and I ask God to work out the situation in His good time, in His own way.

But it’s hard. It’s very hard.

“And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.” Mark 10:16