Part-time Mother

There’s so little time to be her mother,
Twice a month doesn’t count for much.
I try to pack as much love
As I can into those times,
Try to include discipline, listening, teaching,
Understanding, encouragement,
Fulfilling her needs enough to last
Until the next time she is with me.

She looks up at me, questioning,
Always questioning, trying to decipher
What is happening –
And my sometimes evasive answers,
My childish confusion as to how to answer her
Do not satisfy either one of us,
Because I’m as bewildered at times as she.

How can I give her courage
When I’m scared all the time?
Stability when my life has no pattern?
Assurance when I’m so unsure?

There’s so little time to be her mother,
I hope it’s enough – it’s got to be enough
So she won’t forget I’m still her mother
And I love her so very much.

Don’t forget me, little one.

1984