Disintegration

I feel as though I'm crumbling
into a lot of little pieces.
I haven't felt this way
for a long time.

My past is shattering around me,
My present, not much better.
My future, not so bright.

The brightest light in my world
is boarding a plane tomorrow
and with this daughter goes my being -
I can't BE without her.

She's with me always in my heart
but each time she goes away from me,
A new hole is ripped inside.

I feel so trembly, so weak,
so unsure,
Like I'm going to tumble
and crash upon the ground.
It doesn't feel good.

I've picked up pieces before
and made a stronger me.
I just wonder how many times
I have to do so
Before the Crazy Glue that I use
to patch myself with each time
doesn't become brittle
But finally takes hold
until I mend for good
And become an honest-to-goodness
whole, healthy person.

Don't believe the advertising --
Crazy Glue does not hold a ton,
It doesn't even hold a heart together
for very long.

12/30/87